Get Off My Case
by NayasD-O-double-G
Summary: Santana Lopez wants to be a serious journalist, she's unhappy with the articles she's forced to write at her current position. An opportunity to write for her dream magazine arises but how far will she go to get the job? How did she end up hiding in a dim room next Constable Brittany Pierce, the woman she's secretly been in love with for a year? AU Brittana fic
1. A LoveHate Relationship

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or the characters.**

**Get Off My Case**

**Chapter 1: A love/hate relationship**

You're late, like really late. In fact you always seem to be late these days. Its work that takes up all your time, you know it is. You hate it but what can you do? You went to college for this job, you've spent hours writing stories that don't matter, that most of the time you disagree with, all for a lame ass magazine. You wanted to be a real journalist, write about things that matter, somehow change the world one word at a time. But instead you find yourself researching for hours about which celebrity has gained weight or who looked terrible on the red carpet at the latest event.

Luckily you have great friends. They understand why you're late and don't question how miserable you are. That's what you need, people who accept you and your choices.

You're standing on the door step of Tina Cohen-Chang's house. You met the Asian beauty in High School and have been friends ever since. She was the first person you confided in when you realized you were a lesbian and you'll always be grateful for how much she helped you during that time. You straighten your white work shirt and frown because you don't even have enough time to change your fucking clothes anymore.

A hot bath and bed sound really good to you right now but you committed to this get-together and so, you're here. You raise your fist and knock on the hard wooden door. It's getting cold outside, the chilly Fall breeze ices over your uncovered skin, so you knock a little harder this time.

The door swings open and Tina is standing in front of you smiling brightly as if you'd just told her she'd won the lottery. You wish you remembered what it felt like to be that happy for no good reason.

"Santana! There you are." She says and pulls you inside by the hand. She leads you into the living room and you follow with apprehension, you're not sure who was actually coming to Tina's gathering but you're secretly hoping that one person in particular didn't show up. You scold yourself for being in such a hurry that you didn't check to see whose car was outside.

"Hey San," Tina's boyfriend, Mike, calls nonchalantly from the couch, he's watching tonight's football game with Sam and Puck and you smile at the boys. Tina drags you towards the table behind the couch where Mercedes's is sitting with her elbows on the table, clasping a mug of coffee in her hands. You look around the room at your friends, there only seems to be the six of you and you relax the muscles you didn't even realize you were tensing. She's not here, thank God!

"Hey Santana, we were just talking about you." Mercedes grins at you and places her mug on the table so she can concentrate on you more. You know that grin, it's the mischievous one and you know you're not going to like what she says next.

Tina finally lets go of your hand and you take a seat opposite Mercedes. "Really?" You ask, you just want to go home to bed.

"We were thinking of who we can set you up with." She winks.

You groan internally and just shake your head at her. They're always trying to set you up and you hate it. So you haven't had a relationship in three years, it's totally fine, you get by on the occasional one night stand. Plus you're too busy with work to even think about how lonely you are. Your last relationship messed you up and you haven't been interested in having another one since.

Tina sits next to Mercedes, they're both giggling and you roll your eyes and wonder how you managed to befriend two complete opposites of you.

"So what else did I miss?" You ask, casually trying to change the subject.

"Oh," Tina began. "Well Brittany was just telling us-"

"Brittany's here?" You ask startled. You feel your body tense at the thought and you're suddenly sitting up straighter. Your palms become clammy from panic, heart palpitations are disrupting your breathing. You cough a little and shift in your seat to try and hide the fact you feel totally blindsided.

"Santana," Tina leans in and whispers. "I don't know what your problem with Brittany is but please just try and be friendly."

"What happened with you two?" Mercedes pries. "When you met last year you both seemed to hit it off?"

You just shake your head like they're both wrong and they are. Just as you're about to fake a phone call and leave immediately, said girl enters from the kitchen, still in her police uniform, her blonde hair in a bun and she's holding a drink, you're pretty sure it's a hot chocolate because you can see the marshmallows bobbing up and down.

"Oh, hey Santana." She smiles cautiously and you know you make her feel awkward.

You nod your head and smile faintly, acknowledging here presence. You know she thinks you hate her, she thinks you can't stand being around her, that you're cold towards her and you kind of are but not for the reasons she thinks.

You met nearly a year ago at a wedding you weren't invited to. The Hudson/Berry wedding. Mike's business is a function centre, he puts on anything from weddings receptions to Christmas functions to business conferences. It's quite successful, you're actually pretty impressed. When he told you about his idea to start up a function centre, you were doubtful. You even made a bet with Puck that it wouldn't last three months before going broke… you lost that bet. He enlisted the help of you, Puck and Tina after some of his staff came down with the flue. Puck manned the bar while, much to your horror, you and Tina became ready-made waitresses_._

_She caught your eye the moment you saw her. It could have been her long blonde hair, curled and dangling over her bare shoulders or maybe her pastel muscular body that was shown off in that tight, yellow bridesmaids dress, but you were pretty sure it was because she had fallen asleep against the wall behind the buffet. You walked over to her, knelt down and gently shook her shoulders, she mumbled incoherently before her eyes shot open, it took a moment before they met yours. They were crystal blue and upturned at the outer corner, sort of an almond shape. You were sure in that moment your heart actually stopped beating._

"_What happened?" the blonde asked curiously and you weren't sure why your cheeks reddened as she studied your face._

"_You fell asleep?" You replied. "What are you doing back here?"_

"_hiding." She said casually like it wasn't at all a strange thing to do._

_You laugh a little, mainly because you're intrigued and don't know how to react to the blonde. "From who?"_

"_Rachel, the bride." She shrugs, which causes you to laugh again._

"_Bridezilla?" You ask knowingly._

"_The worst." The girl sighs._

_You spend the rest of the reception hiding with her, not just because you were utterly taken by her but because you really didn't want to waitress anymore. (Mike hasn't hired you since.) Brittany became a part of your friendship circle and it was good for a few months until you realized you had developed feelings for her. So you did what you do best, you shut down and shut her out. You'd make up excuses as to why you couldn't hang out with her, you'd ignore her calls and texts and avoid her when you did end up at the same party or dinner. Unfortunately she'd already become good friends with your other friends so you couldn't just forget about her, she was always around when you and your friends got together and it had been that way ever since._

Brittany took a seat at the end of the table. Her eyes flickered in your direction and then back to her drink. You never meant to make her feel uncomfortable, you didn't want her thinking she had done something wrong but you know she does. You're in love with her, everything about her but if there's one thing you've learnt, it's that love hurts… no it aches until you can't breathe and everything good you ever felt becomes damaged, painful, it leaves scars that will never heal. You decided three years ago you wouldn't put yourself through that again.

So, here you are, hurting the person you're in love with and refusing to admit to anyone why.

"Ok," Tina began, interrupting you from your thoughts. "I wanted to wait until you were all here to tell you my big news."

She's silent and you stare irritably at her. "Well spit it out." You say impatiently.

"Ok," She said, her smile even bigger than when she greeted you at the door. You didn't think it possible. "Mike and I-"

"Oh my God!" Mercedes interrupts. "You're pregnant?"

You scowl at the diva for prolonging the news even further until you realize what she asked. Your attention snaps back to Tina as you await her answer.

"Close!" She giggles and you frown wondering what the equivalent of having a kid is. "We're getting a puppy."

Brittany lets out a squeak of pure cuteness and hugs Tina like it's the most exciting news ever. You and Mercedes scrunch up your face in confusion and look at each other.

"That's it?" Mercedes asks in a disappointed tone.

A freaking puppy is the reason you're going to be super tired tomorrow? Sure you're a sucker for a cute dog but was it worth the announcement "I'm missing out on my beauty sleep for this?" You mumble.

Brittany tilts her head to the side and shakes it at you. "You don't need beauty sleep Santana." She shrugs and turns to Tina to ask her what breed of dog she wants and if she will get a girl or a boy. You just stare at Brittany with a blank face. She just basically called you beautiful, you force the giddy feeling bubbling in your stomach and chest down. You really hate her for making you fall in love with her. But how could you not fall for the girl? You're a bitch to her and she's still so kind to you. You tune out the girls and their talk of puppies. You decide you're better off seeing what the guys are up to, maybe you'll get distracted and be able to escape the torment of Brittany's compliment circling your mind.

The game the boys were watching must have finished because Mike is setting up the PlayStation.

"Who won the game?" You asked taking a seat on Sam's lap, just to annoy him. Sam is your other friend from High School. He's like a brother to you now, even though he was your first boyfriend and you lost your virginity to him. You suddenly feel yourself cringing at the thought of that failure of a night.

"We didn't." Puck sulked. "Lost again."

"Fuck off Santana, I can't see the T.V." Sam growls causing you to laugh. You're glad Sam is still in your life, he's kind of your rock.

Mike hands a controller to Puck and gives Sam's to you.

"No way!" Sam moans. "She's going to lose."

"Whatever, watch as I kick their ass. You'll be begging me to play for you next time." You smirk.

The game starts, it's a car racing game. You struggle to keep your car straight and you crash every time you try and turn a corner. It's not until Sam tickles you making you squirm off his lap and takes the controller from your hands that your car actually starts to catch up. Your half wedged between Puck and Sam on the couch all three boys are heavily concentrating on the game and you actually don't know if you'd rather be here or at the table with the girls discussing puppies and avoiding Brittany. You take that as a sign to go home to bed. You stand up and say goodbye to the guys. You just receive grunts back.

"Well I should head home," you say to the girls feigning a regretful tone. "Early start."

"Brittany was just about to leave too," Tina smiles.

"Of course she was." You say under your breath. Knowing you'll now be awkwardly walked to the door, you'll watch everyone hug each other and then you'll have to try and get out before it's your turn to hug Brittany. It's almost become a ritual at these types of gatherings that you dread so much.

"Kelvin will be excited to hear your puppy news." Brittany says as she hugs Tina by the front door.

"Kelvin?" Mercedes asks and you have to admit you're curious too.

"My new partner on the squad, Constable Goddard." Brittany replies. "He just adopted a Jack Russell from an animal shelter."

"Aww." Both Tina and Mercedes coo. You roll your eyes and look away, mostly because Brittany in uniform is almost too much for you to handle.

Before you know it your half walking, half running to your car to avoid the goodbye hug with Brittany. You just know if it happened there'd be no stopping you from melting into her and smelling her hair, you're not even certain if you'd be able to let go. Your walls would come down and you'd somehow mess up everything.

As your about to start your car engine you see the police car in the driveway and wonder how you didn't notice it earlier. You watch as Brittany silhouette disappears into the driver's seat and starts reversing down Tina and Mike's driveway. Your heart feels heavy as you watch it drive away.

Later on as, your lying in bed, in your cold, dark apartment. You realize you're ready for a change. You decide, when you get time, you're going to start handing in your CV to all the places you dream of working. You decide it can't hurt, you have more experience now than when you first tried it and it'll either validate that you're meant to work at your crappy gossip magazine for the rest of your life or that you might actually be able to pursue your dreams after all.

* * *

It's been a week since you decided to hand out your CV. You've been asked to an interview with Sue Sylvester, she owns the famous magazine 'You Think This is Hard?" Her articles are controversial yet touching, they're important and allow the reader to discover factual goings on in America and the world. Her process of employing is unlike other magazines. Usually you're interviewed and hired by someone further down the cooperate ladder, the owner of the magazine just sits back and lets the money roll in. Not Sue though, she's very involved in YTTIH magazine. She interviews all potential employees herself. You heard a rumor she doesn't let the magazine go to print until she's read every article in it, twice. She's thorough and picky but that's what makes her so successful.

You're sitting in a black leather arm chair in front of Ms Sylvester's desk in her huge office. It's tidy and neat and very impersonal. There are no photos, no trinkets. Just the basics. The whole back wall is filled with books of biographies, encyclopedias, textbooks, history books, just to name a few. You scan them and can't see a fictional title among them. The rumors were true, Sue was all about facts.

You hear the door swing open and Sue confidently walks into the room. She's an older woman, probably in her mid-fifties. Her hair is blonde and short and for some reason she's wearing an all red tracksuit. You stand up, wipe your sweaty hands on your black dress pants and hold out a hand for her to shake. She takes a look at you and just sits down without taking your hand. She starts flicking through some papers on her desk and you soon recognize them as your CV.

"Well, sit." She demands and you do as you're told. You're not sure if you should speak or not. You're over-thinking every movement you make, you're only five seconds into the interview and you feel like you've blown it already.

She looks up at you and you stiffen. "Miss Lopez." She begins. "Sure you've got the skills to write but can you find the stories?"

You swallow hard. You don't think you've ever felt this nervous. No, you know you've never been this nervous. "I definitely think I can." You answer with a confident smile.

"No, no." She grumbles and leans back in her chair. "You either think you can or you can. Which is it?"

"I can." You say, you manage to keep your confident tone even though it feels like every bit of you is going to fall apart with nerves.

"Hmm…" Ms Sylvester ponders. "If you can find me a good enough story by the end of the week, you're hired."

Your eyes light up. That's it? That's all you have to do to get the job? You smile triumphantly at how easy this is going to be. In fact you're going to quit your current job as soon as you leave here.

"But I don't want any of that celebrity gossip crap." She continues. "It has to be good, factual but interesting. I don't want any of that 'The Mayors having an affair,' or anything about the homeless." You raise an eye brow at her harshness. "They've all been done, they're all boring!" You nod even though you're not quite sure you agree.

"I want the latest scoop." She takes her glasses off and starts to almost yell. "Something that no one's heard yet, something new, something big!" This is not going to be as easy as you thought. "Are you going to give me that, Miss Lopez?" She asks standing up from her seat.

You stand also. "Yes Ma'am." You reply and hold out a hand to shake, which she ignores once again.

"Ok then, I'll see you at the end of the week. We don't take deadlines lightly around here, so get to work." You nod and leave the room.

You walk onto the street and take a breath of the cool air. You don't really know what just happened. Was that the interview? All you know is that you're wasting time, although you don't even know where to start looking for the story Sue wants.

You walk a little way down the street until a small diner catches your eye. You walk in and take a seat on a stool at the counter. There's a newspaper to your right. You decide that might be a good start to finding a story of your own. You begin to read the articles when a waitress comes to take your order.

"Hi, welcome to Burnie's diner. What can I get for you today?"

The voice sounds familiar but you don't look up. You're reading about a murder that the police have no leads on but suspect it's something to do with organised crime. Like the Mafia. "Just a coffee and the number four, thanks." You say barely listening to the woman in front of you.

"S-Santana?" The girl asks and you freeze. You realize why the voice sounds so familiar… it can't be… Fuck. You gather all your strength to smile and look up.

"Wow, hey Quinn." You say holding your breath and taking in her blonde ponytail and those same hazel eyes you stared at for years. "It's been-"

"Too long?" She offers. You nod even though you're thinking it hasn't been long enough. She's looking at you like she can't believe you're in front of her.

You ignore the memories and flashbacks you've blocked out for years. You try to go back to reading your article thinking you wouldn't have to do more than greet her when you hear her continue and you groan internally. Why did you have to pick this diner?

"How have you been?" she asks quietly.

You're almost angry. You feel like telling her how crappy you've felt since she broke your heart and ruined your life three years ago. You decide to go with "Fine."

She seems to remember that she's working and leaves to give your order to the chef, out back. You let out a shaky breath and try and calm yourself. This morning has been filled with anxiety and sweat. Once again you wipe your clammy hands on your pants and resume reading the article about the Mob murder.

Once you finish your burger and coffee and read the remainder of the paper. You fumbled around in your bag for your purse. It suddenly dawns on you that you've never had to tip an ex before. Do you give them less because they fucked you up and you're eternally bitter? Do you pretend you were never together and tip her what you normally would have or do you tip her more because, well wasn't Quinn studying to become a Doctor? That obviously didn't work out. You decide to be a good person for once in your life and tip generously.

"Santana wait!" Quinn yells as your about to leave. You let out an unnoticeable defeated sigh and walk back toward the counter where the pretty blonde is standing. "We should catch up." She says and you're not sure if it's a question or a request. She pushes her pen and order pad towards you. "Could I maybe get your number?" She asks.

No. You say in your head. No. No. No. "Sure."

You write your phone number down and smile at her while you're beating yourself up internally. You're not sure how you feel when you look at her. You feel sort of feel numb. You want to be mad at her but you're not. You can see how cautious she's being around you and you kind of think it's… sweet? Even when Quinn was your girlfriend, the word sweet had never really come to mind to describe her. Brittany's face flashes across your mind, sweet, that does come to mind when you think of the blue eyed officer.

Nothing today has made sense so you push it all to the back of your mind. You find your car and decide to focus everything on finding a story. When you were in the diner, you had an idea reading the article about the murder.

You search through apps on your phone and download multiple. The radio apps claim to let you listen in on police radios from all over the world, one you downloaded even gives you the police radio codes and what they mean. You decide to try and find a story this way. Be first on the scene and everything. You type in your location and sure enough, voices and codes project from your phone. You smile proudly at yourself, you're determined to get that job at 'You Think This is Hard.'


	2. Blurry Decisions

**A/N: Thanks for the favs, follows and reviews!**

**Get Off My Case**

**Chapter 2: Blurry Decisions **

"Hey Puck, what's up?" You say as you lift your phone to your ear. You've been listening to your police radio app for most of the afternoon. You've decided to investigate whether the app is real or if the makers of the program just pre-recorded their voices. You're skeptical, yet hopeful but mostly desperate for a story idea. Most of the call outs weren't near your area though. You're sitting in your car on the side of the road, up some unfamiliar back street hoping that you'll soon be near a location called out on the radio.

"A bunch of us are gathered at mine," Puck replies through the receiver. "We were wondering if you'd come out with us tonight?" You're shoulders slump, you really don't have time for much of a social life anymore and you're kind of hoping to get him off the line as soon as possible so you can go back to your investigating.

"Mmm," you mumble. "I'm not really feeling like it tonight Noah." You say honestly because it's the truth. The last thing you feel like doing is going to a sleazy bar while your friends try and fix you up with straight girls (they all seem to have really sucky gaydar) and drunken men hit on you. Especially when you have a lot of work to do.

"Come on Lopez! It's a Friday night." He says in his best persuasive voice. "You can't use work as an excuse."

You sort of feel mad because you actually can use work as an excuse, work never seems to stop for you.

"What do you say?" He asks again.

You groan because you know he's going to beg until you agree. "Who's going?" You ask hoping he doesn't mention a certain blonde police woman.

You hear whispers and hushes on the other side of the line. Then a hesitant, "Just Mike, Sammy, 'Cedes, Tina and I… The usual gang."

When you don't hear Brittany's name you feel a little more relaxed about the idea of going out. You run your fingers along your steering wheel absentmindedly while you wonder if you can be bothered going out and if it will put you behind on your work for not only YTTIH magazine but also your story about Brangelina for the current magazine you work for. You hear a rustling on the other side of the line.

It surprises you when a familiar female voice vibrates down the receiver. "I promise we won't try and set you up, Santana." Tina says pleading in a voice that she knows you can't resist.

You let out a huff of air in defeat. "Fine." You whine. Really, you just want to get off the phone so you can go back to your app. You appreciate them wanting to spend time with you, it's just that your time is scarce lately.

"Cool!" Tina says excitedly. "Meet us at Extreme at ten."

You agree and say goodbye.

You go back into your app and listen to the law enforcement radio transmission in your area. You're glad your friends didn't ask you where you were or what you were doing. You kind of feel like a creep. A badass creep.

Eventually it happens, you're still sitting in your car except this time you're across the street from what seems to be an abandoned warehouse. The steel structure stands tall, most of its windows have been smashed by vandals or wild weather. Its roller doors creak and groan as the breeze passes through the structure, it's eerie and you shiver because it reminds you of a horror movie you saw as a teenager. It's started to get dark and you're realizing that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to go out by yourself in search of criminals. You could have talked Sam or Puck into it but then again Sam would just tell you what a bad idea it was, _the entire time_. Puck on the other hand, he'd probably mistake it for a date of some kind.

You've been here for at least five minutes and you're about to give up when you hear the sirens approaching. Your eyes widen when suddenly two police cars come screeching around the corner, their blue and red lights flashing ferociously, sirens howling as they approach the rundown warehouse. They come to a fast halt in front of the building. The doors fling open and four officers in total appear cautiously out of their cars, they already have their guns raised as they begin to surround the building.

Maybe you should have tested the app out on something a little less dangerous? You just blink and gape at the scene, you're stunned. You can't believe the app actually worked and that you somehow have beaten the police to the scene. It suddenly occurs to you that you're basically in the middle of some kind of police raid. You slide down in your car seat so you won't be spotted by the officers as you think about how you're going to get out of this one. Why do you never seem to think the plan through first? You can't exactly start your engine and tear off down the street, knowing your luck they'd think you were part of the criminal activities and probably give chase.

You sit up a little, just enough so you're able to see out the window without showing too much of yourself. You watch the scene unfold and find yourself wondering if Brittany does this kind of thing. You hope not, it's seems dangerous and you don't want anything bad happening to the blonde beauty. You can't imagine Brittany holding a gun with a deadly serious expression on her face. Her features were made for kind smiles, and sparkling eyes, not anything to do with bad people, weapons and danger.

As the four policemen shimmy open a roller door and disappear into the warehouse you take that as your cue to leave. You quickly sit up and strap on your seat-belt. You cringe as you turn the key in the ignition and the engine starts to rumble. You turn on your lights because it's now dark and start to take off. You keep checking your rear view mirror every few seconds to make sure you aren't being chased by some suspicious cops.

Once you've made it to the intersection a block away from your apartment you relax a little and feel like you can breathe again. You feel as though you've struck gold, except it's buried under layers and layers of rock and you have nothing to drill it out with. Sure you have the app to tell you what's going on but how are you going to get the facts without actually breaking into these places or getting caught by either the police or a criminal. You sigh as you turn into your driveway. This is going to be so much harder than you thought. Maybe you should start looking for other ideas?

* * *

You sit down at your dining table toward the back of your kitchen with your quick and easy mac and cheese. You watch the wisps of steam rise from the bowl. You're pretty sure you'll have a heart attack by the time you're thirty with all the crap you eat but you don't really see the point in preparing a decent meal when it's just you and only you. You look around your apartment, it's quiet and seems more empty than usual, although your things are all still here. You've never really noticed how lonely it is, you're usually too busy.

You begin to eat your mac and cheese as silence weighs heavily around you. You wonder how on earth you're going to find a story that impresses Sue Sylvester. It's the first time you've panicked about writing an article since you first started writing at your current magazine. You think back to the newspaper article you were reading in Burnie's Diner when you ran into Quinn. Maybe you could write an article about organized crime, the mob mentality? Will a week be enough? You jump in your seat when your phone vibrates loudly against the varnished wood of the dining table, bringing you out of your stressful thoughts and back into your lonely apartment.

"Hello?" you answer.

"Hi," A woman says and you're sure you can hear a smirk in her voice.

Your heart stops and you fumble with your phone, almost dropping it. "Qu… Quinn?" You stutter still surprised that you ran into her earlier today and even more so that she's calling you.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about you and was wondering if you've eaten yet, I know you're a late diner."

You look at the now empty bowl in front of you, you were in such a daze about this damn article that you barely remember eating your Mac and Cheese. "Umm yeah I have." You respond still stunned to hear from her so quickly let alone at all.

"Oh," She says, disappointment lacing her elegant voice. "I thought we could grab something."

"I'm going out tonight…" You suggest. "You can join… only if you want too." The fuck? You have no idea why you want to see her again so badly or what's possessed you to ask her out tonight. It may be for closure or maybe letting your loneliness catch up to you has sent you mad. You're pretty sure it's the latter.

"Sure, will you pick me up?" She asks hopefully.

"Uh huh." You say hesitantly still wondering what the hell has come over you.

* * *

You take a shower, put on a short red dress, knee high boots and your favorite leather jacket. You apply your make-up and wear your hair out, slightly wavy. You take longer than usual to get ready, you're not sure why. You think it may have something to do with making someone regret ever leaving you but you're not sure.

You take a cab because you're not planning on being sober tonight. After you've picked up Quinn, survived the awkward "So what are you doing now?" and "How have you been?" Conversation and arrive at Extreme, the club. You get out and walk to the door with Quinn, it's only ten so there's not much of a line to get in.

You walk in with Quinn by your side. Extreme is basically a big room. It's dark and most of the lighting in the room comes from the flashing techno lights. There's a DJ and a dance floor at the front of the area and bar at the back with a few tables and stools here and there and a booth in each corner at the back wall.

You spot your friends gathered around the bar.

You walk over to them with Quinn trailing behind you smiling.

You're not.

Your friends turn and all look like they've seen a ghost. You guess they kind of have, what's that movie? _Ghosts of girlfriends past._

Tina's eyes are piercing into you and straight away she grabs you by the arm and pulls you away from both your group of friends and Quinn.

"Ow! What the hell?" you whine even though you know exactly what.

"Seriously?" Tina asks a little angry but mostly disappointed. "It's taken you three years to get over that woman and now your suddenly back together."

"We're not back together." You roll your eyes. "I saw her today and we thought we'd catch up."

Tina just shakes her head at you like you've lost your mind.

Maybe you have.

She begins to walk back to the group when something catches your eye, this time it's your turn to grab Tina's arm roughly. She looks at you curiously until she follows your line of sight.

_She's here._

Blonde, straight hair sways as she moves, her silver sequin dress catching the light and reflecting glimmers like the water on a lake in summer. Her cerulean eyes staring directly into your own deep brown ones.

"We didn't think you'd come if you knew she was here." Tina whispers and shrugs as you both watch her walk up to the bar to meet with the rest of your friends.

"Because I wouldn't have." You says gritting your teeth at your friend's betrayal. You know they don't understand, you know no one understands why you can't be around her. But this is why, the feeling you have right now. The flip of your stomach, the increased heartbeat, the nervous sweat developing on your palms, armpits and under-boob. Not to mention the tightness in your lungs because she literally takes your breath away. You would happily just follow her around for the rest of your life, you'd do anything she'd ask of you. You can't be around her because she'll break your heart, she'll break you.

You watch as Brittany looks from you to a man standing next to her, she smiles that cheeky smile you love so much and takes his hand leading him to the dance floor.

"Who's the guy?" You ask Tina. Watching Brittany pull the tall, brown haired, handsome stranger to the crowd of dancers towards the front of the club.

"Oh," She says like she's surprised you're not yelling at her. "That's her partner, Officer Goddard, Kelvin Goddard."

You feign a smile and nod pretending you're not in the least bit jealous. This is exactly why you can't be around her. You're envious that he spends time with her, that he get to see her every day. And right now, you're envious that he gets to hold her hand, that he's the one she wants to dance with. You look away with guilt. You know you could be closer with her but you know you'd end up even more hurt than you already are now, and you're not sure you could bare it.

You order a round of flaming shots from the bar. One for you, Sam, Tina and Puck.

After three rounds of shots and six beers, you're finally smiling as the alcohol warms you and blurs your emotions.

Quinn has been telling you how med school wasn't her thing and instead she's applying to university's to study to be a lawyer instead. You're not really listening, you're concentrating on something else, _someone _else.

You smirk because Brittany's not dancing with Officer Goddard anymore. She's on the outskirts of the dance floor by herself, she smiling, her eyes closed, and moving to the beat of the song that's playing. She looks like she doesn't even notice the people around her, her movements flow and you're pretty sure she's the best dancer you've ever seen.

Officer Goddard walks up to your table.

"Ladies." He nods as he takes a seat next to Quinn and opposite you.

"Officer." You grumble because he's blocking your view of the dance floor, meaning you can no longer watch Brittany.

He lets out a breathy laugh. "Kelvin." He insists.

He and Quinn start a conversation about laws or something you don't really care for. You shift on your seat trying to see around him and admire the blonde that moves as if she invented dancing.

Quinn gets up to get another drink, offering to buy you and Kelvin one. You both Shake your head and offer a "No thanks."

Kelvin turns to see what you're looking at. "She's showing everyone up." He says, smiling fondly.

You smirk. "She must be pretty cool to work with?"

"The best." He says, you watch as a flash of sadness flickers across his face. "You know, if we didn't work together I'd ask her out in a flash." He admits.

You shift uncomfortably. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He says. His light brown eyes drop from your own to the table. "She's like the dream girl but that'd be unprofessional."

You nod. "Can't you just change partners or something?" You're unsure of why you're putting the idea in his head.

"Yeah but I look forward to work because of Brittany now. It just wouldn't be the same going back to someone less…" he struggles to find the right word. "…Brittany-ish."

You chuckle and nod, letting him know you understand completely. You can relate to the guy and you feel bad for him. You're no longer envious of him, knowing that he also has feelings for the blue eyed, blonde. At least you can escape from those feelings by working and avoiding her pretty much altogether but he has to see her every day knowing they can't be anything more than friends and you can't imagine how torturous that would be. You give him a sympathetic smile.

Quinn returns with a drink and Sam and Puck also join you at the table.

You stand from your stool grabbing Quinn's hand and tugging her to the crowded floor full of sweaty bodies moving together to the beat. You notice Brittany has opened her eyes, she's watching you curiously and you realize you've never seen each other dance before.

You start moving your hips to the beat facing the blue eyed blonde, the alcohol has flooded your senses, your rules and walls are hazy. You pull Quinn in front of you and she begins to grind on you. She giggles and you're certain she's more intoxicated than you are. Your eyes never leave Brittany. You feel a wanting, you haven't felt for some time.

The alcohol is telling you what you want, _who _you want and you can't for the life of you remember why you avoid the blue eyed cop so much.

"I'm going to get another drink." Quinn yells over the music.

Oh right, that's why you avoid feelings.

You nod and she leaves you on your own on the dance floor just a few feet away from the girl you're so miserably in love with. You watch as her pink, glossy lips form a smirk, her eyebrow quirks. And then you realize you've been staring at her this entire time.

She looks conflicted. Like she can't decide whether to approach you or not. You can see it on her face, her eyes are sad and maybe a little scared of you but her smirk, raised eyebrow and the flush on her cheeks are curious. You're kind of hoping she doesn't come over to you.

But you also really hope she does.

You know you'll regret it when you sober up, you'll remember why it would be a bad idea to talk to her, to be close to her. You love her and you're only going to screw things up so you both end up hurt. She deserves better, she deserves someone who can give her everything, and you just can't, not even friendship.

Her curious side seems to get the better of her as she takes a step towards you. You don't move, you've stopped dancing, you're frozen. You want to run away but at the same time you want to remember what it feels like to be close to her. Your stomach feels like someone opened the cage to a million butterflies as you watch her take a few more steps toward you.

Everything about her seems to shine brightly under the techno lights.

_God she's beautiful._

A warmth in your chest that you've been dismissing for a year, rises.

"Would you like to dance?" She asks, her sweet voice filling your ears and touching your heart. It wasn't what you were expecting her to say, but then again she never is quite what you expect. Since you found her hiding at the Hudson/Berry wedding she's always been _Brittany Pierce: full of surprises_ to you. You swallow hard. Your heart is beating rapidly and you're uncertain to whether you can actually speak at all.

Instead you go with the silent option. Actions speak louder than words right? You hesitantly place your hands on her hips, you curse yourself when you realize how shaky you are. You can't help but gasp as you touch her, you can feel her body heat through her dress, the curve of her hips under your hands. She starts to sway those amazing hips to the beat and you just stare at her in awe, all of her. Taking in every detail because you know by tomorrow you'll be back to your stubborn, avoiding self. She takes your hands off her hips, her skin on skin touch burns with what you could only describe as electric chemistry. She turns so her back presses against your front and she places your hands back on her hips.

As she continues to dance to the music you feel every movement. Like everything she does triggers a raw tickle inside of you. Her right hand reaching behind her, ravelling her fingers in your hair. Your breasts grazing her shoulder blades, her shoulder is just inches away from your lips that already tingle at the thought of you leaning in to kiss her skin. And not to mention her ass grinding against your front making the want inside of you almost unbearable.

You take in her strawberry smelling hair and the vanilla sent of her perfume or body wash, whatever it is that makes her smell so fucking good. The little self-control you have left takes every ounce of you not to dip your head and taste her skin.

She's a contradiction. Her personality has this innocence to it, which surprised you when you found out she was a police woman, she's kind, gentle and tends to see the positives in life. The way she moves however, is anything but innocent, it's like she knows that she's the sexiest woman on earth, she exudes sex. The gentleness in her personality is not transferred into her movements as she pulls you closer from behind and keeps grinding.

Your current state is a blur between drunk, horny and in awe. This gives you enough courage to start to move your hands from her hips sliding them sensually up her waist to her rib-cage and back down again. Your feel her body from under her dress and can only imagine what it would be like to feel every inch of her without the dress. It makes you shiver with pleasure.

You briefly wonder why she's dancing with you after how badly you've treated her. You were friends for a couple of months and then one day you basically just started ignoring her, avoiding her for reasons she will probably never understand. You wonder if she's that fucking kind that she's forgiven you within a few minutes of eye contact. Of course she is, you don't deserve her kindness.

The thoughts disappear quickly when her ass grinds into your front again and a shock shoots through your body. You can't think of consequences or anything right now only the fact that you want more of Brittany. No, you _need _more of her.

She spins in your arms so that she's facing you again, her eyes are hooded and playful. They make your mouth go dry. She rests her arms around your shoulders and you wrap yours around her waist, you're pretty sure you're going to die from being this close and intimate with her. You're not sure where to look, her lips you want to kiss? Her nose you want to boop? Her eyes you could get lost in forever? You decide to settle for the crowd over her right shoulder and try and control your jagged breathing. Mercedes and Tina come giggling onto the dance floor, they give you an interested look but they don't take too much notice of you and Brittany because they're so drunk and laughing so hard at nothing in particular. They're what you call happy drunks.

You look up into Brittany's eyes which are trained to your lips, she blushes and looks away when she realizes she's caught.

You smirk, and find her a complete contradiction again, she's adorable yet sexy as hell. You pull her closer to you, you don't know why, you just feel the need to be as close as possible to her.

"May I cut in?" A stern voice sounds from behind Brittany, startling you both out from your little world you've created.

It's Quinn.

_Fucking Quinn._

Brittany smiles at you and then nods to Quinn. You can see the disappointment that you usually cause, in those pure blue eyes. She walks over to dance with Tina and Mercedes as Quinn takes the spot Brittany was in. She wraps her arms around your shoulders and you place your hands on her waist. It feels wrong. Her arms feel tighter than the way Brittany held you. The space between you feels claustrophobic and awkward instead of intimate and filled with unspoken desire like it was with Brittany.

You break away from Quinn.

"Uh, I'm just going to get a drink." You yell over the top of the music.

She rolls her eyes but nods anyway. She starts dancing with Puck who just joined you on the floor. He twirls her under his arm and she giggles.

Instead of going to the bar to get another drink you go to the bathroom. You turn on the tap at the sink and let the cool water run over your hands. You turn off the tap and lean against the basin staring at yourself in the mirror. Your hair is dishevelled from Brittany's fingers running through it. Your cheeks are red from dancing or maybe it's a permanent blush left sprinkled over your cheeks from Brittany's actions. You shake your head at yourself. You've slipped up big time, you should have never come out tonight. You should have stayed at home and done some research for your articles. You're only going to hurt yourself more and most likely hurt Brittany by pretending nothing happened and going back to avoiding her. You let out an audible sigh and begin fixing your hair. The bathroom door opens, you don't take much notice at first, assuming it's just some random girl but then you see her standing behind you in the mirror. You swallow thickly and you hear your heartbeat in your ears and feel it pulse between your thighs.

_She's so fucking sexy. _

Her hair is messy too, her cheeks are also flushed, her lips are grinning at you and her eyes have a glint of mischievousness in them.

She takes a step forward so that she's pressed up behind you. Her eyes glued to your own in the mirror. You feel like your knees could give out at any second. You grip the basin in front of you just to keep yourself upright and grounded while the world spins at a Brittany pace around you.

She leans in so her lips brush your ear and she lets out a giggle, you're pretty sure it's the cutest thing you've ever heard. You're heart flutters. Then, "I'm sorry I messed up your hair."

You smile at her through the mirror because that's all you can fucking do. You're speechless and all your senses are overwhelmed and yearning for one thing and one thing only.

_Brittany S Pierce._

You know it's a bad idea, you know you'll regret it tomorrow but at this time you don't fucking care anymore. You turn around so you're face to face with the girl of your dreams. Her eyes dart from your eyes to your lips and you're pretty sure you know what she's thinking because yours are doing the same. You lean forward and so does she. You take one last look at her soft, pink lips before you close your eyes and feel them against your own. It's everything you imagined it would be and more. You let out a whimper accidentally and your heart soars in your chest. Your body is buzzing like every nerve is raw and exposed to the wonderful feeling of kissing Brittany. She takes your bottom lip between her own and sucks it gently. It's magical. It makes everything you never believed in, real.

She pulls away and you instinctively follow chasing those sweet lips for more. When you don't find them you frown and your eyes flutter open. She staring at you, smiling like she knows all of your secrets. She takes your hand and you melt into her touch as she leads you into a toilet cubical. She closes the door behind you and twists the lock. It's not long before your lips are reunited with hers, firmly brushing together. Your back is pushed harshly against the door. Every second becoming more desperate, more desired.

You're pulling at her waist trying to pull her closer to you, her hands rest one on your neck, the other on your jaw line guiding the kiss. Her tongue slips between your lips and you let out a moan as it finds your own. You're not even embarrassed at your audibility because everything feels so fucking good, so fucking right. This is all you've ever dreamed of… Ok maybe not in a grimy toilet cubicle while you were both drunk but hey, you'll take what you can get. Her leg slips between yours and you let out a sharp gasp. You feel a new sense of urgency.

You vaguely hear the bathroom door open and faint footsteps, but you're mostly concentrating on Brittany's tongue in your mouth and the way her thigh is pressed against that spot that's longing for glorious friction.

"Santana?" Quinn's voice echoes off the tiles of the bathroom.

Both you and Brittany still. Brittany's panting against your lips, she's smiling a devilish smirk and you can't help but smile with her.

"Santana, I know you're in here, Tina saw you come in." Quinn says.

_Dammit Tina!_

You roll your eyes and Brittany presses a quick kiss to your lips like she knows your time making-out in the cubicle is over. You know it as well. If you don't come out now Quinn will start looking underneath the doors.

"Santana? Are you ok?" She calls out once more.

"Uh, yeah…" You say, still very aware that Brittany's thigh is pressed against your groin. "I'll be out in a second. Can you order me another drink and then we'll go."

"Ok." She says and you wait until footsteps leave the room and the sound of the door clicks behind your ex-girlfriend.

You look to Brittany. You see that same old flash of disappointment behind her eyes that you always seem to summon but this time you also see understanding. She takes a step back from you and you immediately miss her. She gives you a slight smile and runs her thumb gently under your bottom lip clearing up smudged lipstick.

"Sorry." You whisper and you realize it's the first thing you've said to her all night. You don't exactly know what you're apologizing for, maybe it's because Quinn interrupted you or maybe it's because you have to leave… but mostly you think you're apologizing for the past year and for tomorrow and the next day and the next when you pretend this never happened.

She leans forward and kisses you, your eyes flutter closed and your heart swells. It's soft and pure and over before it's really begun but it's probably one of the best kisses you've ever received.

"You should go." She says. You nod giving her an appreciative smile and leave the cubicle.

You find Quinn at the bar waiting impatiently for you with a beer. You down it as fast as you can making sure you have no time to stop and think about what just happened.

* * *

Your alarm beeps at , you forgot to turn it off before you went to bed. Your head is pounding and you realize you've barely slept seeing's as you got home around 2.30am last night. You groan, your head is hammering and you slam a palm on the alarm turning it off. You nestle back into your pillow allowing sleep to overcome your headache. You're almost in dream land when you feel an arm slump over your waist, pulling you slightly closer to the owner's body. Your eyes shoot open. You don't remember bringing someone home last night.

Brittany?

You just remember dancing with Brittany and then kissing Brittany. You groan again. Did you go back and get her? Did you sleep with her? You're pretty sure you remember leaving with Quinn. You sneak a glance over your shoulder at the owner of the arm.

It's still dark but you can pretty much make out who it is.

Quinn.

You look down at what you're wearing and breathe a sigh of relief, you're still in your dress. She must have taken your, "You can crash here." Suggestion as, "You can crash here on my bed." Instead of the couch where you actually meant for her to sleep. You peel yourself out of bed and head straight for the kitchen for water and aspirin. You turn on the coffee machine while you're at it.

You sit on the couch with your coffee.

* * *

"_So your name is basically Britney Spears?" You smirk._

"_Told you so." Brittany giggles. The sound fills you with warmth and an involuntary grin forms on your lips. You grip the bench you're both sitting on to steady your giddiness._

_Her eyelashes flutter and she looks away from you and out across the park._

"_Thanks for meeting me in our lunch break." She says watching the children play on the equipment. Your eyes stay on the profile of her face._

"_Well who wouldn't want to have lunch with Britney Spears?" You shrug, earning you another giggle which fills your chest with pride. You watch as the smile lingers on her lips and how her eyes seem to have varied shades of blue in them._

_You've only known Brittany for a few months, yet you've never just clicked with anyone before like you have with her. You've never met anyone like her, you consider her a best friend already._

"_Stop staring." She smirks and looks at you._

"_Sorry." You mumble. "So why'd you become a cop?" You ask hiding your embarrassment._

_Brittany looks at her hands that are cupping her coca cola bottle and shrugs. You can tell she's not sure if she wants to tell you or not. She looks back up at you like she's weighing up how you'll take what she says. You give her a reassuring smile because you're now very intrigued and you also want her to know that she can tell you anything._

"_I wanted to protect people." She says shyly. "I wanted to know that the people around me were safe, that I was safe. I wanted to prove to not only myself but to others that there is still good in the world." She fidgets with the label on her coke bottle._

_You nod taking in her words and feel a fuzziness in your chest that you can't quite explain. "And did it work?" You ask. "Did you find the good?"_

_You can see the sadness in her eyes. Those eyes that express more than her words ever could. You kind of regret asking because you feel as though she should never feel sad._

"_There's a lot of bad out there Santana." She says and you feel a cold shiver at the way she says your name. You can't imagine what she's seen but going by the look on her face, she's seen a lot. _

_You just nod. You decide to lighten the mood again._

"_Hey look," You point to a man with a camera taking photos of the birds in the trees. "The paparazzi's after your photo Ms Spears!"_

_She feigns shock and then beams a smile your way. You make sure to lock it away in your memory because a smile like that might cheer you up on even your darkest of days._

_She grabs your hand and you feel your heart flutter. You think it may be because you love having a friend like her, you have so much fun together. That's all it is, you're just happy around her. _

_You both stand and start running through the park together, avoiding the 'paparazzi.'_

_You say goodbye and set off to work in different directions. You wear a smile for the rest of the day._

* * *

_Shit._

You must have fallen asleep on the couch after your coffee. Isn't it supposed to keep you awake?

It's 11am. You really need to do some work. You tip toe to your bedroom and relax when you notice Quinn is no longer in your apartment. She must have left while you were asleep.

You refrain from letting the memories and worries of future repercussions of the previous night distract you. You made two bad decisions last night and both of them were blonde.

You have a quick shower and change into some tight, blue jeans and a sweater. You still feel groggy and hung-over but you really don't have time to be.

You grab your keys and phone and go looking for your story.


	3. In Pieces

**A/N: Thank you so much for your support on this fic! This chapter gives a few answers to Santana's past and her relationships. I struggled with this chapter a bit, I hope it's sufficient and not too confusing. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think.**

**Get Off My Case**

**Chapter 3: In Pieces**

_Loud music pulsating the beat through your body. Slender fingers trailing through your hair gently scratching your scalp. Her warm body pressed against your front, blonde hair tickling your neck._

_No._

_Nope._

You shake your head.

You can't be thinking about the previous night. You just can't. It makes everything complicated and you no longer do complicated when it comes to girls.

"Brangeling. Brangelina. Brangelina." You whisper in a chant to remind yourself what you're actually supposed to be concentrating on.

_Brangelina… Brangelina… Brang… Br… Brittany._

_Her lips on yours._

"For fucks sake!" You say a little louder than you meant to, earning a glare of disapproval from a mother sitting near you with her small child.

You ignore her.

You're at your favorite café just down the street from your apartment. It's small and quaint and never gets too crowded, and the coffee is ah-mazing! You like to think of it as your little secret place that the rest of the city hasn't discovered yet. You're sitting at a table at the back, which you've pretty much claimed as your table every time you come here. In fact you may or may not have chiselled your initials in the wood of the bottom left corner with a knife one morning when you were particularly irritable because some man thought he had every right to sit there. He continued to ask if your name was on the table after you asked him to move, so when he left you didn't take any chances and engraved the letters while hiding your vandalism behind a menu.

You spent two hours after you left your apartment, listening to your app trying to find… anything really. Two whole hours you wasted and came up with nothing. You even read the local paper while you were listening but you didn't find inspiration in there either. So you've decided to write the Brad and Angelina article for work so you don't have to worry about it later on and then you can just concentrate on finding something for Sue, even though you're beginning to doubt you ever will.

You're still slightly feeling the effects of a night out drinking but it's not as bad as when you first woke up. You swallow the last of your hazelnut latte and write the finishing sentence of your article. It's basically cementing that there may be some truth to the rumor you just literally made up. You hate yourself for it but it's what you're paid to do and hey, you are a bitch after all.

The door opens and you look up to see Sam walking in. He gives you a dopey grin and a wave before heading straight to the counter. You agreed to meet him here and hang out for a bit before you started working on your other story.

He takes a seat across from you while you put your laptop in its case and sit it on the seat next to you.

"Hey," He greets and places a blueberry muffin in front of you.

"Thanks." You say and you can't help but feel grateful to have such a caring friend like Sam, although you'd never actually tell him that.

"So last night was fun huh?" He says taking a bite of his own chocolate muffin.

"Yeah." You mumble and your cheeks flush at the memory, you really hope Sam doesn't notice.

"You and Brittany seemed close." He says, it's more of a question than a statement.

You shrug and pick at your muffin. You kind of weren't expecting him to mention the blonde, you forgot that he could see you, the whole club could see you. In the moment it felt like it was just you and Brittany in your own little sexy dancing world.

"Are you friends again?" He asks.

"I was drunk." You say defensively. You know he knows you too well and will pick up on the fact you're getting defensive because there's more to it than you're explaining.

"Even drunk people don't grind up against people they don't like." Sam grins like he knows what you've been hiding from him, from everyone.

"I never said I didn't like her Sam." You state annoyed that he thinks he knows you better than you know yourself.

"Then why do you avoid her so much?" He shrugs.

You look away from his inquisitive eyes. "It's complicated." You say and take a bite of your muffin hoping he'll get the hint that you don't want to talk about it and he'll change the subject.

He doesn't.

"I'm your best friend and you've never told me what the fight was between the two of you."

"Tina's my best friend." You snap.

"Well, I'm still one of your best friends. And Tina doesn't know either, so..."

"Just drop it Trouty." You scold.

The two of you eat your muffins in silence.

"What was with Quinn?" He pries.

"Jesus! What is this? Twenty questions?"

He shrugs again like it's no big deal that he feels the need to meddle in your business.

"What do you mean?" You say feigning innocence.

"You know what I mean Santana. I thought you were better than that. She broke your heart and then you suddenly decide to be friends again? What the hell?"

You feel annoyance rise inside of you and anger creep along your skin. He doesn't even know what he's talking about. He's just assuming things about you and you hate it. To be honest you don't even know what's going on with you and Quinn. "Ok, first of all you need to shut that big grouper mouth of yours because it's dribbling crap. Secondly, this is none of your business so why don't you take your old school Bieber haircut and your froggy lips back to the South where you belong and stay out of my shit."

He shakes his head. "I'm not going to do this with you while you're all defensive and stuff." He stands from his seat. "She broke you Santana, I'm not going to sit back and watch it happen again." He walks out of the café. You feel a small twinge of guilt somewhere deep within your gut for insulting the guy who's trying to protect you from making the same mistake twice.

* * *

"_Hurry the fuck up Santana we're going to be late. We can't be late to someone else's surprise party."_

"J_eez Quinn, will you chill, you're so snappy lately."_

"_Well if I had a girlfriend who wasn't so lazy." Quinn begins._

"_Lazy? I've been working all day?" You say incredulously._

"_I don't think sitting on the couch in your pajamas with your laptop counts." She says narrowing her eyes._

"_I was writing an article Quinn. You know that's my job right?" You retort._

"_Aren't you suppose to do that in your office? Whatever. Can we go now?" She sighs heavily._

"_Mhm." You say grinding your teeth. You really love the girl but she sure knows how to push your buttons, and not just in a good way. It's because you're very similar, you're both strong and hard headed so you often find that you argue a lot more with her than the other people in your life. _

_You start to walk to the door but Quinn doesn't move._

"_Are you coming?" you ask confused. Wasn't she the one who was yelling at you for making her late?_

"_Santana… I…" Quinn trails to silence. You look at your girlfriend curiously. Her eyes flicker from yours to the lounge room floor like she's disappointed in herself for not being able to say what she's trying to. Her Jaw is clenched and she looks slightly pale and green like she does when she feels sick._

"_Are you ok?" You ask stepping forward reaching for her hands but she takes a step back in time to be out of your reach. You've never seen her like this before. She looks vulnerable and sad._

"_I just…" She shakes her head. "Ugh, why can't I just say it?" She scolds herself, frustration coating her voice._

_You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. "Say what?" you ask. You slowly take another step forward like she's a frightened animal and that one quick movement may scare her away._

_She rubs her temples and then drags her palms down the sides of her face like she does when she's stressed._

_Patience isn't your thing but you wait._

_She takes a deep breath and finally looks at you again. Her hazel eyes are void of much emotion but you can still see that Fabray determination behind them. "I can't do this anymore." She states bleakly._

_You have no idea what she's talking about. "College?" You ask dumbly. You've graduated but Quinn still has a few years to go and you know how stressed she's been about it lately._

_She sighs impatiently. "This." she says gesturing around your apartment._

_You just squint at her. You're a college graduate but you can't for the life of you figure out what she's trying to say. "Living together?" You let out a breathy laugh disbelievingly. "We've been living here for the past year and you haven't had a prob-"_

_You're cut off by the sharpness of the blonde's voice. "Us!" She shakes her head. "I can't do us anymore or this life we've made."_

_Your mouth falls open, you feel a tightness in your chest and your stomach swirls in the worst way. You think you might actually be sick. This can't happen, you and Quinn have been together for years, you've planned for the future, got an apartment together. She can't just end your relationship. "Wh-what." You manage to stutter. You can feel tears building behind your eyes. You're in complete shock, you never saw this coming. You're happy together right?_

"_I'm not happy."_

_Apparently not._

_You just stare at her. "What?" You ask again because you really are dumbfounded. _

"_I've been thinking about leaving you for a while now. I'm sorry, I really am." She looks away from you once more._

_You don't know what to say. So you say the first thing that pops into your head. "Are we still going to Puck's surprise party?" You don't know why you want to know, you just feel like you need to get your bearings on what happens now. You're also waiting for her to tell you she's joking. _

"_Seriously Santana?" She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest._

"_Like you said, it would be weird if we turned up after he's already been surprised and then we just yell surprise anyway."_

_Quinn just stares angrily at you._

"_What?" You ask._

"_I'm breaking up with you and you're worried about a stupid, fucking surprise party that Puck won't even remember in the morning?"_

_It hurts, a pang in your chest that's shredding your heart in two. 'I'm breaking up with you.' You look to the floor and shrug like a child that just got caught stealing a cookie. _

_You're in denial. You don't want this to be real, it can't be real, you won't let it be real. Quinn's your soul mate after all._

"_You should go." Quinn says and you look up at her sadly. "You should go to the party, while I sort through my things and start to pack them up. I'll stay at my sister's tonight."_

_You frown. "But…" You don't know what you're trying to say. You want to beg her to stay, to take it all back. You want to go to the party with her and pretend this break up never happened. You want to bring her home and make love to her, showing her how much she's cared for and how you will never take her for granted again. You don't say it though. You both just stand in silence not daring to look at one another._

"_It'll be good for you to be around people anyway, I know how you end up locking yourself away in your room when you're sad." She says nonchalantly. You can't believe how casual she's being about this and you're sad at just how well she knows you. What if no one will ever get to know you like she does again? _

"_I just don't understand." You murmur and feel the pressure of tears prickling your eyes._

"_I know and I'm sorry. We just don't work, I'm not happy and I honestly don't think you are either. It's for the best." She says and starts collecting her things._

"_Please." You finally beg and a sob creeps up your throat and wracks your body._

"_Go to the party Santana." She says calmly without looking up from taking her CD's from the shelf._

_You watch her for a brief moment in confusion and sadness. You can sense the familiar feeling of anger bubbling inside of you, it always happens when you feel hurt and vulnerable. It means your walls are coming up._

"_Fuck you." You yell as you storm out of the apartment._

_You go to the party. _

* * *

You've just left the café. You've turned your police radio app on and you're following a call out that was near your area. The police cars are already out the front of the yellow weatherboard house. You park a few houses down just to be subtle. You wonder what would happen if you got out of your car and went snooping around the house. You'd most like be spotted by a cop but you figure you could come up with a decent story like 'you smelled smoke and thought there was a fire' or that 'you lost your dog.' You contemplate the thought for a while. Eventually building up the nerve to act on one of the most stupid ideas you think you've ever had. You open your car door and step out into the cool afternoon breeze. Before you've take a couple of steps the front door of the yellow weatherboard house opens and two policemen step outside. You duck back behind your car. You're embarrassed with yourself because you look suspicious as hell. There's a man standing in the doorway of the house and you assume it's the owner. He shakes both of the police officers hands and they turn to leave. You wait until they drive away before you stand up from behind your terrible and obvious hiding place.

Another failed waste of time. You feel like you're never going to get the job with YTTIH. You sigh and get back in your car to wait for another call out.

It's been half an hour and you're getting bored. Your phone buzzed indicating you had a new text message about ten minutes ago but you didn't want to open in because it would mean you'd have to exit your app and possibly miss a shot at a good story.

Eleven minutes since the text and curiosity gets the better of you. You open the message.

**Quinn: **_I had fun last night. We should do it again soon._

You should probably feel something… anything. Anger, heartbreak, love? You feel nothing. Numbness. You think even if you were still in love with Quinn those feeling would be nothing compared to the ones you have for Brittany.

Brittany.

You let out a sigh. You feel everything for that girl. Anger with yourself, heartbreak for sure, love, so much love.

You let your guard down last night, a year's worth of feelings came crashing down on you. You let her in and now you're paying for it. You can't get her out of your head. Those blue eyes reflecting the colored lights from the club, like your own personal fireworks show. That sexy smirk on her face like you were sharing a secret moment, which you really were. The feeling of her pressed against you, filling all your senses, you were drowning in Brittany, and overwhelmed with a happiest you haven't felt for years or maybe even ever.

You briefly wonder what would have happened if you had never met Quinn, never dated her. Would you still have a big fear of commitment and heartache or would you have been brave enough to ask Brittany out? You scoff at your thoughts because you know you would have somehow stuffed it up with Brittany and you both would be much worse off than you are now and even more screwed up than you were after Quinn. You don't even know if Brittany likes you in that way. Sure she kissed you but maybe it was just some drunken hook up to her.

* * *

"_Hey, I'm Quinn." She says and all you can do is stare. She's stunning and you're not sure if you're jealous that she's so pretty (even though you know you're hot yourself) or if you want to fuck her until the early hours of the morning until all your neighbors have learned your name. _

_Sam nudges you with his elbow._

"_Oh, uh Santana." You say and give your best sexy smile._

_You watch as her long blonde hair moves against the slight wind and her hazel eyes look you over._

"_Quinn and I met here a couple of weeks ago." Sam says awkwardly gesturing to the football field and ignoring the fact that you and Quinn are practically eye fucking the fuck out of each other._

_You nod not taking your eyes off the blonde._

"_Does uh your boyfriend play?" You ask already knowing you're going to get laid whether she has a boyfriend or not with the way she's looking at you. It's like she's a lion and you're a piece of meat. You love it._

"_Sister's boyfriend." She replies with a smirk._

_Sam mumbles something that sounds a lot like, "Gross." He sighs. "I'll see you later then."_

_It's not long before you have Quinn Pinned against the fence behind the bleachers. Your lips locked in a desperate kiss and your hands holding her wrists above her head._

_You're not sure but you have a feeling this is the start of something really, really great._

* * *

You ignore Quinn's message but your phone buzzes again.

**Tina: **_Come over._

**You: **_I'm busy._

**Tina: **_I made sushi and have really great coffee…_

You sigh. It is getting late and you are pretty hungry. Plus she mentioned two of your favourite things in the world.

**You: **_Fine. I'll be there soon._

It turns out Mike and Tina finally got their dog. It's a Labrador and you have to admit it's pretty damn cute.

You take a seat on the couch while Tina is busy in the kitchen getting your sushi and coffee. You try and lure the puppy, that's distractedly playing with its pink toy rabbit toward you by wiggling a finger.

"Come here." You whisper so Tina doesn't hear that you actually have a heart and that you are a sucker for a puppy just as much as the next guy.

Tina walks out from the kitchen and you go back to pretending you're not fussed by baby animals even though you're kind of upset that the puppy doesn't even seem to notice you. There's a knock on the door. She hands you your dinner and drink and goes to answer it.

"Why do you hate me so much?" You whisper to the dog who's chewing the ear of the rabbit toy and ignoring you.

"Figures" You sigh. "Just another blonde to add to my list of issues."

You place your coffee on the small table that sits next to the couch and begin eating your sushi and wondering what it is with you and blondes. First Quinn, then Brittany, then Sue Sylvester and then Sam and the dog today. You're beginning to see a pattern forming.

It's not long before Tina returns and you look over the back of couch to see who was at the door.

Your eyes widen and you shrink a little into the couch willing yourself to disappear. For everyone to ignore you as much as Tina's puppy has.

"Aww so cute!" It's the voice that pleases your ears and makes you feel like you're floating. The voice that calms your soul at the same time as alerting your body. The sweetness of the sound forces you to shiver as goose bumps rise on your skin and your stomach flips. You don't know why your body doesn't follow your mind. You don't want to feel this way, you want to like Brittany as a friend, a best friend and nothing more. But your body does react to everything she does and you do feel the way you feel.

You don't think she's noticed you yet. You stay still and silent.

She kneels a few feet from the pup. The puppy stops chewing and looks at her curiously with the toy still hanging from its mouth. It drops the toy and clumsily bolts towards the blue eyed blonde. Brittany's eyes widen and she lets out a squeak before the Labrador is in her lap, paws on her shoulders, trying to lick her face. Brittany lets out a giggle and you cringe at the way it makes your stomach flip again.

You're sort of jealous. Of both of them. Of course the dog would like Brittany better than you, you can't blame it either.

"She likes you." Tina laughs and Brittany lets out a squeal as the puppy licks her chin.

It's the most adorable thing you've ever seen. So fucking adorable you can't help but smile even though you're trying your hardest not to.

"What her name?" Brittany asks patting the puppy who has started to settle down.

"Stefani. After Lady Gaga."

You roll your eyes.

Brittany tilts her head slightly to the side and furrows her brow quizzically.

"Stefani?" Brittany asks slowly running her hand softy over Stefani's head.

"It's Gaga's real name." Tina answers.

"Oh." Brittany shrugs. "I always thought her first name was Lady and her last name, Gaga."

"Umm no." Tina smiles. "What kind of a name would that be?"

Brittany shrugs again. "A cool one. I thought it was pretty original."

You stifle a laugh at how cute Brittany is. You love the way Brittany sees the world. She doesn't seem to question things she just goes with it. Everything to her is so simple and you wish you could look at things the way she did. You probably wouldn't be cramping up from trying to stay still right now, if you did.

"How was the sushi Santana?" Tina asks. You scowl at her because she just blew your cover.

Brittany's head shoots up from the puppy to find you.

"Really good, thanks Tina." You say quietly making sure you don't look in the blonde's direction.

"Do you want more? I made a lot." Tina asks.

You shake your head. "No thanks."

"What about you Brittany?"

"Sure," She smiles. "Thanks."

Tina walks back into the kitchen and your left in silence with Brittany who's playing tug of war with the rabbit toy and Stefani.

The silence is heavy and you can feel it suffocating you. You want to leave, to run away and never come back when the blonde is here.

You don't move. This is one of those moments you wished your body would listen to your mind but it's too busy revelling in the soft giggles escaping Brittany's mouth every now and then.

"Santana, about last night-" Brittany starts.

"Don't worry about it." You say quickly, you knew it was coming.

"I think we should talk about it." Brittany says looking up from Stefani to meet your eyes.

Your breath hitches a little as you stare into her eyes. They're serious and deep and so, so blue.

You swallow hard and will yourself to remember why you keep your distance. You straighten your back and push all your feelings as far down as you can. You tilt your head up a little like people do when they're proud. It gives the illusion you have strength and no feelings when really, deep inside, you think of yourself as weak and you feel too fucking much.

"Just forget it. I have." You state and shrug. You feel relieved when your voice doesn't give away how much you're dying inside. It comes off nonchalant, as if you were talking about something you didn't care about, like Tina's collection of unknown artists' paintings or Sam's impressions that you never understand because they're so terrible and therefore, they bore you. It however, does not sound like you're talking about finally kissing the woman you're in love with.

Brittany chews her bottom lip and looks to the ground. She nods and you feel your heart break a little more. You hate yourself for hurting her. You're not sure of her feelings for you but you know what she looks like when she disappointed and you hate yourself for being the cause of it.

Tina comes back with Brittany's sushi rolls. Brittany stands and goes to the bathroom to wash her hands.

"What did you do?" Tina scolds.

"Nothing." You say and finish your coffee.

"Brittany was happy when I left for the kitchen and then I come back and she looks as if someone just gave her a kitten and then said she couldn't keep it.

You shrug.

Brittany returns and sits at the table to eat her dinner.

"So where's Mike?" You ask trying to escape the incredibly uncomfortable silence.

"He's at work." Tina says blankly.

You nod slowly and internally cringe because Tina's blunt response is an indicator that she's mad at you.

The three of you sit in silence until Brittany has finished her sushi and Tina starts washing up. She tells you and Brittany that you don't need to help and that you should get better acquainted with Stefani.

You know bonding with Stefani isn't really what Tina wants you to do because she whispered, "Fix this." As she passed you.

You're sitting on the couch staring at Tina and Mike's CD collection. Brittany's on the floor playing with Stefani again but you don't dare watch her this time because you're sure you will melt at their cuteness and you also can't stand the look on Brittany's face, which looks almost like regret.

You don't want her to regret anything from last night. You know you have no right to want that, especially because you sort of regret it. Well not exactly, you regret the consequence but not the actions.

Tina comes back from the kitchen and you and Brittany still haven't spoken. Your eyes are still fixed on the album titles on the shelf and you hear Tina let out a frustrated sigh.

You're about to make up a lie to leave when Brittany beats you too it.

"I should go." She says. "I have to… paint a wall."

Tina frowns and you just stare at your lap.

Tina shows Brittany out and you stayed on the couch feeling like the biggest bitch in the world. You probably are.

Tina sits next to you on the couch.

"I know." You say before she has a chance to lecture you.

Tina pauses. "What happened?"

"Nothing." You say crossing your arms over your chest and staring at your feet outstretched in front of you.

"You were inseparable around this time last year." Tina says like she's trying to figure out want went wrong. She's talking more to herself than telling you.

"I know." You say glumly. You're too tired to keep your walls up any longer.

"So what went wrong?" She asks, shifting so she's facing you. Her voice is kind, her eyes are safe, loyal, understanding.

So you tell her.

* * *

"_No it's my turn." You frown. "My apartment, my rules."_

_Brittany juts her bottom lip out. It's so god damned cute that you think you'd just about let Brittany get away with murder if she used that pout against you. _

"_Fine." You mumble. Brittany smiles widely and giggles. You laugh at the sight._

"_Truth or truth?" She asks and you frown in confusion._

"_Brit, we're playing truth or dare."_

"_Yeah and I want you to pick truth… so truth or truth?" She asks again._

_You're sitting Indian style on your bed opposite Brittany. You invited her over for a sleep over. You're not sure why but when you're with Brittany you're not afraid to act like a teenager or a kid again. You feel a sense of freedom when you're around her. You realize it's ok to have fun, after years of thinking you were too grown up to build forts, play hide and seek and truth or dare. In your adult years you'd never considered a sleep over with a friend that didn't involve sex or passing out from alcohol._

"_Does each truth have a different question or are they the same question."_

_Brittany grins at you, you don't think you'll ever get tired of making her smile. "I like the way you think Lopez." She smirks. "Different questions." _

"_Well in that case, I choose the second truth." You say, you know you have a dopey smile on your face but you're too giddy to even care how silly you must look._

_She smiles shyly before she asks. "How many people have you dated?" _

_You're taken aback by the question. So far you've only been asked simple questions like what your favorite color is and if you prefer circles to rectangles. You asked Brittany what the first album she ever bought was and then you dared her to do a handstand for ten seconds, which she completed with ease. Before the truth or truth question you had been dared to walk across the room with a book balanced on your head. It was light and simple._

"_Umm, that's a complicated question." You state._

"_Sorry," She says shyly and chews her lip. "I didn't mean to get too personal."_

"_No, no it's fine, it's not that. It's just… do I count boys? Or do I count people I've gone on a few dates with but it turned into nothing?"_

_She just smiles at you, not in a way that implies she's laughing at you but in a way like she finds you fascinating and endearing._

"_Count whoever you want Santana." She shrugs._

"_Ok." You draw out. "Well I'm only going to count the people that meant something to me and who I had real feelings for." You don't know why you feel the need to explain your process to her. You think about the question for a moment and come to the realization that there's only one person who you've dated who meant something to you. Only Quinn._

_Brittany's watching you. You don't really want to tell her that you've only really dated one person. She might think you're weird or something._

"_I don't know." You shrug._

_She pouts at you and you know she's caught on to the fact that you can't resist that adorable face._

"_I guess… one." You mumble._

_She nods and smiles, still studying your face like she's trying to read your thoughts. It's not in a judgemental way, her look is kind and accepting and something else that you can't quite place but it makes you blush and look away from her._

_There's something in you that needs to know her answer. "What about you?" You ask intrigued._

"_Is this my truth or truth question?"_

_You shake your head 'no.' "I've paused the game." You smile. _

"_Well," She begins. If you were sitting on a seat right now you know you'd be on the edge of it. "I count guys and girls, so about five who I've really dated, I guess."_

_Wait, what._

_Brittany's dated girls?_

_For some reason you'd never considered Brittany to be into girls._

_You're just staring at her. You can't stop._

"_Santana are you homophobic? Because that's mean and bullying and I won't accept it."_

_You close your gaping mouth and try to grasp some form of speech."_

"_Umm I'm…I'm gay so I'm not homophobic." You stumble over your words._

_Brittany purses her lips together and squints at you like she's trying to tell if you're lying or not. "I don't know Santana, you'd be surprised at how many homophobic homosexuals I've met." You nod dumbly. She uncrosses her legs and nudges your leg with her foot. "Your turn." She says chirpily._

_You don't know why you're so affected by Brittany's sexuality. It's just you thought you never had a chance, that your feelings would never be reciprocated in any way so you had ruled her out. You had ignored the fact that she was so beautiful you could barely take your eyes of her. You had pushed away the feelings swirling around your heart and stomach when she spoke to you. You had rejected the tingles and sparks you felt when she touched you. You were in denial because you knew there was no hope of ever being with her in the way you secretly wished, the wish that was kept deep inside the darkest place at the bottom of your heart, where you knew there were feeling for her but you pushed them away and ignored them. There was no hope and you liked it that way. You had accepted only being her friend and you loved having her as a sort of best friend. But now you know. You know there's a chance that maybe one day she could like you back. You know now that there is hope. You don't want to feel hope though, you want to go back to accepting that no one will get hurt if you just lock your feelings away. You want to go back to denial, to that happy place you were in just a few minutes ago. Where you thought you were woozy with friendship not feelings, where her touches tickled because she had soft gentle hands not because of a connection that was deeper than a link between friends. You feel as though your feelings have risen to the surfaces after months of being submerged. Instead of taking a breath of fresh air you feel like you're still holding your breath. You feel open and exposed and scared almost like how you felt when you realized that you were gay and everything made sense but at the same time you wanted to stay well hidden away in that closet of denial, where it was safe and warm._

"_I have to go." You say standing up from the bed._

_Brittany looks confused. "This is your apartment." She reminds you._

"_Right." You pause. "Yeah I know, it's just I forgot I have to do something and it's really important. You can show yourself out." You begin to walk away._

"_Santana wait," she says desperately and you can hear the uncertainty in her voice. "Is this because of me? Did I say something that offended you? I really didn't mean too." _

_You turn around to face her. "No, of course not. I just… I just can't." you almost tell her that you can't be around someone you have feelings for. That it only ends badly. That you're too messed up to even consider acting on feelings that involve more than being horny. "Can't stay." You say. "It's really important, sorry, I have to go." You repeat and take your jacket and scarf off the hook near the front door as you leave._

_You end up at a random bar. You stay the night at some random girls' place, who you picked up that night just in case Brittany decided to wait for you at home._

* * *

"I don't get it." Tina says staring at you. It makes you uncomfortable. "You stopped being friends with her because you found out Brittany was bisexual in a game of truth or dare?"

You fidget with your hands in your lap. "You don't get it." You mumble.

"No I really don't, help me understand." Tina says and places a hand over your hands as a sign of comfort.

"I cut her off because she gave me hope." You don't look at Tina as you speak. "She made me realize everything I'd been hiding from myself."

"I'm sorry Santana but I'm still not following."

You sigh defeated. "I'm in love with her." You say shakily. The words slip from your mouth and your throat goes dry, your stomach knots and you feel that familiar prickle of tears forcing their way and building up behind your eyes. It's the first time you've said it out loud to anyone, even yourself. "I'm in love with her and I don't want to be. I vowed to focus on my work and friends. I vowed to never love anyone again." You say as a sob escapes your throat and the tears begin to fall. "And then there she was, a definition of perfection and she broke my vow. I can't be around her, I just can't."

Tina doesn't say anything, she just pulls you into a hug and lets you cry out the shattered pieces of your heart that you'd been trying to glue back together for so long.


End file.
